After a solid month of settling into my new ‘job’ as a resident Chaplain, I have found my way back to my writing for this column. I have missed writing each week for this column. This has been a pretty big change for me, to work for a hospital and now as a chaplain. Who would have thought this Catholic gal would find herself in her late 40’s as a resident Chaplain and ministering to the sick and the staff. I also have clinical class’s that require reading and writing, as well as sharing on call over night shifts, as I also get to know the other six residents – all from various backgrounds and a wealth of experiences. We have become a cohesive and supportive group in a relatively short time. I had no idea the depth of support, love, faith and compassion that would be present in a faith based health care system. I am truly blessed to have this opportunity to experience being part of faith based health care. I am working each day within a healthy system, guided by our supervisor who is a living example of Christ message and love, as we are encouraged and supported to grow as ministers and as human beings. I do miss my support system back in Dallas, but we love this new adventure in our life. We are uncertain where we will be guided to live after this 12- month residency, but we are certain that God is already laying forth the plans for what will come next. I must say, it is good to be back to writing for this column and I thank you for continuing to come back and consider the thoughts that I share with you each week.

      So, here I am weeks after my last column, praying for the ability to carve out the needed time each week to write – as this is my true passion.

      As I considered and prayed for an idea for this column, the idea of hope came to mind. A string of words followed as I let this word roll around in my brain; dream, imagine, faith, and then came the idea; hope is an aspect of who we are and upon our creation hope is placed at the very core of our souls.

      Maybe we are all born with the innate ability to hope for, to not give up and to persevere when things look bleak. Maybe we are created with this characteristic in our souls, in need of nurturing so that it can bring forth all kinds of ideas and new ways of doing things.

      Someone first had to hope a treatment for polio could be created, someone first had to hope and then imagine human beings traveling to the moon. We do not give ourselves hope, we are born with this and it is either nurtured to grow and flourish or it is slaughtered, dormant, waiting for one to bring an atmosphere for healing and restoration. There are many souls who never lost their ability to hope, and there are those who left it behind in the 1st grade. For those given the prognosis of a progressive and destructive disease found in active addiction, hope is brought back to life, when the sharing of experience, strength and hope is freely shared.

      If you are reading this article, I would hope that you would consider where you are with the notion of hope. Hope for a real and ever lasting and trustworthy relationship with God. I hoped at one time that I would have a best friend, one that I longed for as a child, and that came about, at an 8PM Saturday night meeting. Annie has just moved to Dallas and those with no dates were at the Saturday night meetings, back in the mid 80’s. She was a wonderful friend, and she taught me to laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously……..something that I often forget, as she lost her battle to breast cancer a few years later. But that hoped for, the desire to have such a good friend occurred and although I still miss her I still grieve her, I would not trade one of those days.

      We have many hoped for’s that come alive when we begin our recovery and there seems to be a cloud of unspoken rules by some – and that is to not want more than to be sober. That we should be grateful for what we have. Hoping for change, hoping to better ourselves or hoping for a significant relationship, based on shared faith, trust and respect is not discounting or minimizing our gratitude for recovery. Being in recovery does not take away our God give souls desire to hope. And, anyone who says to hope is too much to ask for is not in touch with the human being God created to begin with.

      I encourage others to dream to discover the reason and purpose we were created for – and to remember that God was happy when we were created and maybe it is up to us to figure out why.

      We were created with a purpose, and if we do not give ourselves permission to dream and to discover who we are and why we are, then what is the point of living, or the joy of living. Sometimes we try out something and find that we are not suited for a particular hoped for – does that mean we fail, no! It means we are on a journey to discover and uncover who we were created to be. Life is not gloomy and depressing – life is a wonderful opportunity to discover Gods plans for our lives – for some of us that take a while, and as long as I surrender each day to God’s care, my days are not wasted.

      I hope for many things today…..my being a resident Chaplain at a west Texas hospital is a big hope for coming true, and it is with the courage born out of working the steps that I was able to take action to apply for one of these coveted positions. I hope to write for television……who knows if or how that will happen, but I know I imagine wonderful stories, stories of hope and creativity. I hope my children will discover their relationship with God and that our relationships will continue to grow in positive and loving ways. I hope that my husband’s health improves, and I hope that the workbook we have worked on for the last five years will be released this fall. I share these examples for your consideration, and with the hope that you will find courage to listen to the whispers of your souls hopes and dreams…..trusting that God is in charge of your destiny as long as you are willing to go along for the ride, as partners in life with Creator.

carolannpreston©2005