I prefer the disciplined and daily practice of prayer and meditation, as this has allowed me to build a trusted and love based intimate relationship, with God.  I have found this way of living to be far more enjoyable and exciting, leaving boredom behind with my former way of living, than being consumed with self-centeredness - blinding me to the wonder of living that is revealed within the ordinary and common happenings of a sober life.

I have long desired to live a life that was extraordinary, as I would find boredom easily, always seeking a way in which I could live harmoniously with my human nature and my spiritual nature.  Having been restored spiritually, emotionally, and mentally I am no longer in need of drowning out the voice of true God created nature.  Today I am disciplined and practiced, when agitated or doubtful, to pause and listen to the inspirations of the Holy guides who's charge it is to guide me, to live each day in service to God and to assist when I can, my fellows. 

Everyone does not want an extra-ordinary life, but if you do, and are committed to living spiritual principles and practice a disciplined spiritual life  - then life in the realm of the Spirit will bring new meaning, a new awareness and a new sense of order and purpose to your life.  I hope to offer you in these weekly journeys, reflections that would be worthy of your consideration throughout your day and week.  I hope this will support your efforts in experiencing life, lived in harmony with the Spirit of the Universe, your fellows and those Holy Guides who are readily available to assist you in living each day, as we were created to live.

I would like to begin with bringing forth the idea and practice of discernment.  This being an issue that many have struggled with over the centuries and also being a topic of discussion between Bill W. and his sponsor, Father Ed Dowling, S.J. as seen in several letters between the two, found in the book, Soul of Sponsorship.  For those unfamiliar with discernment as a practice and wondering what this has to do with a spiritual life, I would like to explain the significance of understanding the importance of practicing good sound judgement, especially as it relates to spiritual matters.  We are too easily deceived by our own ego to not be prudent in learning and practicing the art of discernment.   This also lends support to living a spiritual life that is not based in emotional fantasy, allowing us to live firmly grounded, and at the same time to be motivated in our actions with spiritual principles and perspective, instead of being guided by ego-driven standards. 

In other words, to live in the realm of the Spirit, we become willing to see life from God's perspective as we give up our right to have our way in our daily affairs.  This does not mean that we give up our ability to think - on the contrary good spiritual discipline and responsibility includes using our God-given intellect and free will.

That is the beauty in our relationship with Divine Spirit - we choose to grow in this relationship, we choose to surrender and trust Divine Love and we choose to see our life from God's view instead of judging ourselves by old ideas that need to be disregarded.  Once we commit to follow Spirit of the Universe and once we are willing to see our daily life from God's view - we find that we are happier and less irritable than when we made decisions based on self or how we think others will view us or our life.  That is why discernment is so important as we go through the day - deciding what course of action to take, or not to take.  As suggested in the Big Book, "we pause when agitated or doubtful and pray for the right thought or action", page 87.  What some of us learn after a while, is that this pause of time can last three seconds or three days, we pause until we are inspired with a decision that is based in spiritual principle.  "Is this decision considerate to all?" or "Am I thinking only of myself?" or "Am I reflecting on how I can be of the most service to God and my fellows today?"  These are the thoughts that come into discerning one action over another.  

Discerning the source of inspirations is another matter.  I have found it beneficial to include a prayer of protection each day, to allow me to trust the source of inspirations from the One Who has all power, the One who is Good, God.  The Big Book mentions, pages 86-88, that as we begin our practice of prayer and meditation and begin relying on inspiration from God, we may take absurd actions and have similar ideas, but with time and practice our thoughts will, "be more and more on the plane of inspiration.  We come to rely upon it."  Relying on God's inspiration makes life easier and fulfilling as we trust we are utilizing our energy and purpose in the very best way, to be of service to God and our fellows.  This allows for a good night sleep and reduces our need to be overly critical of others or ourselves. 

I used to harshly judge myself, holding myself to unrealistic 'superhuman' standards, and in doing so I held others to this same standard of perfection, although this was done primarily without much thought.  Practicing life, in the realm of the Spirit, willing to live guided by God's hand and not my own, I had to become willing to evaluate my life from God's view.  I could no longer allow myself to judge my circumstances or difficulties by my former standards - this had to go.  I had to become willing to see my life from another perspective.  I began to see my life, my daily experiences and even some difficulties another way.  I was now willing to lay down my critical standards after having a spiritual awakening and the desired psychic change. I could now see, what had at one time been viewed as problems, opportunities for God to demonstrate His Omnipotence, as referred to again in the Big Book on page 133. Or these difficulties were an opportunity for me to live what I now believed - it was time to bring light to my deeply grounded character and for some of us this can only be done through difficult situations. 

God did not need to test me, it was necessary to have an opportunity to demonstrate my strengths and weakness' and it was a ripe opportunity to bring to light my true character, created by God.   Human difficulties were now periods or moments to live what I had been restored to believe as promised in step two.  Difficulties now became moments for me to evaluate or discern if changes needed to be made; in relations I engaged in, how I managed money or any other human or spiritual power or commitment.  No longer was I judging my current situation from my former standard of acquisition or position in life.  I was free - free to listen to the inspirations from the Spirit Who guides me.   Even when health and financial difficulties arose, would the principles practiced in good health and good financial state hold true, once these areas were threatened?  Yes, with a new way of looking at life, by the standards of Love, not perfection, I was able to see that my time of ill health was but more time to pray for those I cared about, a time of different usefulness.  My time of financial difficulties became a time to unlearn that I am not what I have or what I do and to discover what I am passionate about, what my hidden dreams of living entailed.  These are thoughts that come from a spiritual perspective, and thoughts that will support a sober happy and useful lifestyle.  A life restored to the intention of who we were created to be, by the One who created us. 

Had I held onto the standards of discerning my life by those of my former living; what is acceptable to the average social setting in western culture, when my health, relations and finances were of the most difficulty, I would not have weathered the storms sober.  I would not have been able to demonstrate my true character - a result of living spiritual principles.   I would not have discovered who God was calling me to be and what my time each day was to be used for.  I would have missed the opportunity, though hard won, to reveal not only my deep commitment to a spiritual life, but also a shared commitment to God within my marriage and other significant relations. 

I am who God says I am - I live and act according to what is pleasing to Gods standards, not situations or personalities. I am no longer a hostage to old ideas, those ideas that were no more than lies that would keep me from being the human being I was created to be. Today I discern guidance, whether found in a book, guidance from a well-intentioned friend, or from inspired thoughts that come throughout the day, I pause today when agitated or doubtful.  I am spiritually responsible, with my feet firmly planted on the ground and with Spiritual protection I trust the Holy spiritual inspirations that come and support me living the best I can each day, in a way that is pleasing to God and helpful to my fellows.

I had many old ideas to unlearn, to allow room for more useful and accurate ideas regarding living in the realm of the Spirit.  I pray that you are protected and supported one day at a time, to live in the realm of the Spirit - free to be who God created you to be, free to live and free to love.

carolannpreston©2005