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Welcome to Talkin' A.A. With Daley Stepper
By Daley Stepper
This is like the newness I experienced on October 11 when a stranger with a
chainsaw scar across his weathered face stepped up to me. "You don't ever have
to drink again, if you don't want to." He stabbed his hand out at me as he
talked. A professional-looking redhead chimed in with the same words: "That's
right, you don't have to ever drink again, if you don't want to." She was a
looker, and smiled at the rich man who had driven me to the meeting. I thought I
recognized her from some time back. Maybe on the street, I don't know. I had
done custom work for the rich guy, and we had partied together a couple of years
before. It was in a strange town that I didn't know. That first AA statement
still echoes in my ears, even though those two men have since passed.
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Terry D. and I had met on the Net through another website
that concerns itself with recovery, sobriety, called Recoverytimes.com. "Times"
like in "L.A. Times" the newspaper, but it is an e-paper, a portent of things to
come, web mastered by Tom and Karen S. Like Recoverylife.com. Perhaps the
"colossus" of communication that Bill Wilson was referring to when he wrote
those words on page 255 of "As Bill Sees It." He predicted that the future of
A.A. depended largely on how well and effectively these technological advances
in communications were used. And how wisely the future members of the gargantuan
organization used each tricky advance. High tech for low drunks. Topers and
dopers alike. Like these two websites of these two gents and writers and
sponsors like me (My web site is Servanon.com, mainly for cyber-sponsorship and
general information and links...like sister web site Recoveryemporium.com, which
supports the cyber-sponsorship efforts of Servanon.com, though the Emporium
isn't a non-profit web site...it has a large catalog of items for nearly every
aspect of recovery, like books, medallions, etc. My thanks to Lyle P. and
Theresa for all their help and 12-Step support! :)
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Here begins the new "A.A." page, not affiliated with A.A.,
the national organization, it is the plan and work of Terry D. here, at
Recoverylife.com, the newest up-and-coming facet of the "Worldwide Anonymous
Recovery InterNetWork," an effort supported through our own contributions
of many kinds.
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We hope to have a wide range of reading for a wide range of
readers, including everything from free verse and poetry to tutorials on the
principles of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, maybe even a word or two about the
12 Concepts for World Service. Every sponsor may well find some strength and
support from our years of service and experience, which is our goal. Personal
stories are invited, and the quality of writing and story will be considered
rather than to embarrass readers and writers themselves. Editorial assistance
and hints will be available through this page's editor (me) for those who feel
strongly about telling their anonymous stories. The Primary Principle here is
Recovery with Principles Prior To Personalities.
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Carrying this message to those real alkies who REALLY WANT IT
is my personal 24/7 daily dedication, and this is just another means to that
end, for which I am, indeed, thankful. That first A.A. meeting a quarter-of-a-
century ago marked the last day I had to drink, and, God willing, will echo down
through the years that message of Hope for Everyone in our alcoholic family
fellowship.
Click Below to Read Daley
Stepper's Talkin' A.A. Articles
New February
Article By A.A. Columnist Daley Stepper
Amnesia couldn't make them forget
their 20-year bond or the special love
Alkies and Addix develop over the years...
(Story fictionalized
enough for total anonymity...based on a recent Journey through the Valley of the
Shadow of Death...)
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A voice in his Heartmind said time and effort and
expense to help others in recovery is more and more the reason for every sunny
day. Some wonder how we guard against boredom, and being “good” all the time.
Religiously. Pretending to have only moral thoughts. (That doesn't sound like me
or any sponsors I have had...). It doesn't matter how much or what we do, the
recompense is always far greater than any expenditure. And over the years, the
rewards get bigger, deeper, and some are actually quite mystical.
One fellow told me about one of his experiences that ranged over many
years and more than a few miles, but was never more than a prayer and a phone
away. It seems this old workhorse somehow picked up some strange viral
passengers, and after some simple surgery, had a seizure and wound up back in
the hospital. Bad became worse. Pneumonia was apparently knocked out a couple of
times, but some strange gutter-running demon was hell-bound to end this
sponsor's life. Even the docs seemed ready to pull the final plugs
(finish the story).
December Article (A
Must Read!!!)
STRANGENESS IN SOBRIETY:
What about AAs and prescribed
medicines?
By Daley Stepper
Some folx around the tables are
quick to put down anyone taking any kind of medicine. Especially if it is a
psychoactive variety. Others complain about that dirty
“D”
word, and claim singleness of purpose as their motive, while oozing fear and
prejudice. Some doctors in the program have sworn off of everything for
themselves, because of their insane excesses…but
do not necessarily suggest that for anyone else. Of note are physicians in AA,
NA, and EA (Emotions Anonymous). And I respect them greatly, for their sense of
responsibility and sensibility are beacons in a dark and tumultuous night.
What would you think of a 25-year AA
veteran sponsor who was experiencing the physical realities of withdrawing from
opiates? Careful, now, don’t
insert the foot in that wide-open mouth just yet. The story actually begins
about 19 years ago, when a freak accident dumped a load of steel on top of him.
Ten-plus hour surgeries punctuated next dozen years, along with therapies that
seemed to raise more pain that control or manage pain.
This gent met up
with a doc just getting a start in AA, and became his sponsor. As the doctor got
to know the man better, and began to realize the constant levels of chronic pain
he was suffering, he took some action that probably saved the life of the
disabled man. He referred him to a pain management doctor in a nearby city, who
turned out to be a true pain management doctor. Our AA friend was wearing down,
experiencing depression and hopelessness so deeply that even his faith could not
keep him from considering suicide. These two men developed a relationship based
on the kind of unconditional
love that
caused each of them to keep the other alive and getting well a day at a time
(finish the
story).
December Article:
Virtual AA
(This
article is in response to remarks found in the FOREWORD TO FOURTH EDITION by my
youngest sponsee, who also works in the computer field while going to college.
Like one of my older well-educated sponsees, also gainfully employed in Silicon
Valley, he found the format difference mainly in anonymity vs. secrecy, which
illustrates why our founders chose the former rather than the latter. When
anonymity becomes secrecy on the net, all manner of lies and misrepresentations
can arise - with no apparent recourse to the gullible newcomer. Abuses may range
from money bilking to the propagation of esoteric effluent. Or worse. The
minimal of which might be Saturday Night Live! Listen, if you will, to the
prodigious wisdom of a youngster bound for a life of sober prosperity and
purpose! -Daley Stepper )
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Finally! The easier softer way of practicing the AA design
for living has been presented. This trend du jour is Virtual Alcoholics
Anonymous! That's right! No need to leave the couch - a meeting is just a
mouse-click away.
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Forget about having commitments at a local fellowship! You can now take on a
commitment: Monitor a recovery website. What about meeting with a sponsor? Well,
in Virtual AA, you do not have to meet with a sponsor face-to-face. Instead, you
meet in a
chat
room and only know
one another by your screen names. Forget about getting your hands dirty helping
a wet alcoholic just coming off a prodigious bender. In Virtual AA, 12 Step
Work
is sending an alcoholic you have never met an
occasional e-mail giving him or her great websites to check out. Instead of
referring them to a page in the Big Book, send them a link to some website that
another someone from somewhere else has recommended. If an alcoholic asks you
how to get sober, but tells you that attending daily meetings, having a sponsor,
and God forbid a commitment is too much, well Virtual AA is the answer for them!
(finish the
story)
A Young Alkie
Shares His Hope:
Purpose
By Mikey Young
This evening I sat in front of the
television screen trying to unwind from a long day. I woke up at
6:50am
working without a lunch break till 4:30, then off to night school and home
around 9:30pm.
I can get away with watching a few minutes
of harmless television, and two hours later with endless hours of studying ahead
of me before my 3 finals on Monday, I paused. Are my priorities out of whack? I
love
school and
work,
but now I can't seem to find enough 'will power' to get off the couch and
study.
When I would drink I would make
reservations that I'd never pick up another drop, and I meant it! I knew that
the consequences would far outweigh the initial few minutes of glee I would feel
from the initial buzz which lasted only momentarily, because I would bypass the
sociable intoxicated stage and ;-)
belligerent, and one might say slightly irrational.
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I often talk a good talk on how I'm
writing a book. For a period of time in my early sobriety I was truly passionate
and vigorously writing my autobiographical story to help other young alcoholics.
Showing them that there is a solution, and a better more enjoyable design for
living
(finish the story).
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December
Article:
Always
Changing...
By Daley Stepper
Life is strange. It requires daily change to survive. To adapt. Yet it requires
the adherence to many unchangeable Universal Truths. In order for AA to survive,
to continue growing, it must be protected and changed every day. No one would
think of banning the use of computers today ~ even though the idea of computers
creating a "paperless society" was unheard of in the mid-thirties.
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Then there are other improvements and learning
methods that are strangely resisted tooth-and-toenail. Such as visual aids. Like
blackboards. Or whiteboards with erasable markers. There is a huge increase in
retaining and learning new material when visual aids are used.
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When AA began, we didn't have the luxury of
TV
in every home. Radio dramas
were still quite the thing: The Green Hornet. The Inner Sanctum. The Shadow
Knows. The Thin Man. Automobiles were romantic, cramped, laughable, a pain in
the neck to crank to start ~ regardless of the weather
(finish the
story).
December
Article:
SPONSORS CHATTING
OVER COFFEE...
By Daley
Stepper
The
precepts of AA are being challenged with a startling regularity. Not too long
ago, the influence of professional treatment centers proposed that we alkies get
rid of this thing we call "anonymity" ~ so that they could organize us into a
political power to influence the amount and methods of expenditure of government
monies for alcohol and drug treatment centers.
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Others began focusing on relapse prevention treatment,
which was supposed to be a "new idea" in treatment philosophies. To me it was
merely what we called "daily spiritual maintenance," or DSM, according to one of
my younger sponsees. One thing it is, however, is another way for insurance
companies to line their pockets
(finish the
story).
December Article:
On Studying the Big Book and AA Literature...
By Daley Stepper (from an old
letter...)
It has been a privilege and a
pleasure to be involved in some of the study meetings at the Hayward Fellowship
for the last nearly 22 years. It was all that long ago that Buddha John, my
sponsor for 15 years, and I took the meeting together, similar to the format we
are using today, which is also similar to the format we are currently using in
the Wednesday night Big Book Study that Norma (and I) have in Central Office,
which is quite successful and well-attended. It also has a lively and dynamic
participation level, and even the spin-dryers are given their full say on
anything they wish.
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Now and then over the years, there have been
problems, usually of a personality nature, but not much concerning true
principles. Whenever someone wished to voice his or her disagreements, we would
look to the expert on all Big Book matters: the Big Book itself. I do not debate
personality problems ~ or psychological or philosophical differences. Nor even
my "opinions." Often people forget that it is important to stand up for the
principles AS WRITTEN in the Big Book or other AA literature
(finish the
story).
December Article:
A Sponsee Views His Sponsor, Learns Humility...
-anonymous
Today I try to turn my will over to God; I let God direct my path and
destination. I try not to worry about where I am heading or which turn God will
make for me. How do I know that God is guiding me? When I let go of the insane
and outrageous thoughts and ideas in my head, and sit still through meditation
and prayer God refills my soul and my entire body is filled with Love. This
recharge of
Love
attracts me to
people who need my help, and I equally if not more so need theirs. God is
placing the most wonderful and extraordinary people in front of me, and I too
often take for granted how truly blessed and fortunate I am. I first started to
realize how God truly is present in my life when I was helping my sponsor, Byron
go through a dumpster at the storage warehouse in East Oakland where he lives.
He does not have running water and his home is infested with rats. He was in a
horrible accident, which has made it impossible for him to work. His monthly
stipend from Uncle Sam is not nearly enough for an apartment in the Bay Area.
The ironic thing about us rummaging through the dumpster was that he was not
looking for food or items for himself, rather we were finding toys, tools,
clothes and other goods that could be appreciated by other of God's children
that Byron knows. He looks in the divine dumpster not for himself, but for
others. I never knew what true humility was until that day, and each occasion
where my sponsor and I get together I continue to learn humility and what
happiness truly is. True joy has nothing to do with material possessions,
happiness is when a person finds God and has a wonderful network of people in
their lives. I thank God every day for the lessons I am learning, and I pray
that I never lose my enthusiasm for sobriety and life. I pray that I never
forget the example that my sponsor continues to show me.
Poem of the Week:
Essenself
by
William Dragon (edited by Daley Stepper)
beyond thought
is
heart of thought
is
Essence:
beyond grasp
of mere
fillintheblank
Essence:
greater
than
your self
is
Heart of (your)Self::
"let your mind
and your spirit
live(love)
there and there
believe (alone)
in (your)
True Home:
simple stop
search find:
deepDEEP
insideINSIDE:
(not there any)
stillSTILL
self
childCHILD
(shhhh)
selfSELF
(inner)
earHEAR
(giant)
quietQUIET
(softly)
listenHARD
(within)
stillQUIET
(tune)
PULLpull
(throb)
roarROAR
(throb)
SILENCEsilence:
your
IMMMMENSE
power!
Essence...
beCOMING
herenow
YeOsUsRence
(Realized...)
Recovery Life is a privately owned and operated website
and has no affiliation with Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous
or any other outside fellowship.
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All personal stories are copyright of the © writer
themselves unless otherwise indicated.
Recovery Life only publishes with their permission. Please do not post
these articles or stories on another site or publication without the explicit
written permission of Recovery Life and the author.
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Alcoholics Anonymous, and AA, are registered trademarks of Alcoholics
Anonymous World Services, Inc. as is NA, Narcotics Anonymous a
registered trademark of Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
The publication of this web page does not imply affiliation with or
approval or endorsement from Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc
or organizations. This site is not affiliated with any 12 Step
program.
©Alcoholics Anonymous Talkin' AA at Recovery Life
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